Our new bags!
Oh dear, I genuinely think I have pushed it this week, my eyelids are heavier than my left and right thigh put together and I require so much coffee to stay upright I am considering investing in a share of Starbucks! I am also going on a crusade to sue the Caledonian sleeper for its trade description title!
I had a great time on Thursday, my boss did a wonderful talk, the music worked amazingly, the party was a great amount of fun and I managed to avoid disgracing myself... my work colleague however did not, there's always one....
I decided following the party to go on to another bar... then someone mentioned that it may be better to head to the station.... then I looked at my watch.... OH MY GOD! 20 minutes to retrieve my suitcase from the office, get a taxi and get to the station, and all this under the influence of some extremely cheeky red wine.... hmmmm. Well, I got the suitcase, luckily with the help of my 2 guardian angels Anna and Dave, then we took 10 minutes to find a taxi and it took a further 7 minutes to get to the station.... 1 minute to the train leaving I get to the station.... the last train for 7 hours.... OMG!!! Needless to say, by the time I made it to the platform I thought I may need to ask for an ambulance rather than where my seat was! Somehow, I made it on to the train and then it left.... I was 8 carriages away from my seat.... for the love of god!!!
Someone should tell this Caledonian sleeper designer that women more than a size 8 with a suitcase need slightly more than a 6 inch wide corridor to get down!! For a few moments I considered doing a action packed adventure stunt and scaling the train to walk on the roof... then I decided that messing up my hair was too unbearable and settled for the corridor, closely followed by a man in a suit, who told me 3 times I was walking the wrong way, then asked me to join him in his cabin (erm ok, alongside the other 3 men in their PJ's!!!).... not sure what it was about my drunken, sweating, panic stricken self that he found remotely attractive really, that will remain one of life's little mysteries!!
Anyway, 8 tiny corridors, 11 bashed doors and a gallon of perspiration later.... I found my seat!!!!... and a woman was in it fast asleep. I briefly considered sitting on her head, then sat the the chair next to her, luckily no-one sat there so sleeping woman lived to see another day.
So Caledonian sweater, panic inducer, uncomfortable ride, absolutely but Caledonian sleeper??? Don't make me laugh!!! After 5 hours of facebook, I nodded off... narrowly made the Carlisle stop and landed on a heap on the station floor - what a glamorous life I lead!!
On a better note, the new pig stickers and cotton bags were delivered, and now I can't wait to get packing sausages! I can be seen this week, walking around the streets of London with our new Wark Village Butchers bag under my arm, there's nothing like publicity!!! We have gone with the slogan "British Farming Matters!" which has stuck since my interview with the panel, it seems to sum up what we are trying to do and add a personal touch to the merchandise. Alan has also excelled himself this week with beef and mustard sausages and white pudding, this week is pork and chestnut, because a chestnut is for life not just for Christmas!!! Having said that, tell that to my poor mother who has trawled the length of Northumberland today in search of the dam things!!! She finally tracked them down luckily, or else it would have been chestnutless pork...
To add to my harassment this weekend, I have had the joys of a food hygiene course and my VAT returns.... "tax needn't be taxing".... say that in front of me and seriously regret it! Why do receipts look so innocent in your purse, Then morph into the devil in paper form once in the file from hell? And as for our lap top, I could genuinely have done it quicker if I'd used an old fashioned type writer!
I have learnt several valuable lessons this week... don't be late for trains, don't listen to suited men on such trains, do wash your hands constantly when around food (oh and don't pick your nose) and under no circumstances attempt to do your tax returns after a week of wine and jolliness.. Moira Stuart may tell you that it isn't taxing, but she is having you on!!!!!
Over and out,
Cx
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