Sausage Mania!

Morning campers... father I have sinned.... its been too bloody long since I shared my news!!!

Well I have 2 weeks of London left!! And last week I had a wonderful time staying on a gigantic orange sofa at my friends Anna and Dave's new flat, and this week, I found hotel bingo!! Its a student halls but open for visitors through the summer - massive rooms, telephone, broadband, en suite, lovely breakfast and exactly 24 seconds walk from the office... in fact I can see the lab through the bedroom window... I considered an elongated leap from the window this morning... then reconsidered... splattered Claire down the window of our bosses office on a Tuesday morning would not be acceptable... and lets face it, the likely hood of me getting the right office would be like the pope marrying Madonna.... so it would be splattered Claire down the office of some professor... marvellous I'll stick to walking!!

On a work front we are experiencing a number of adrenaline fueled moments as I see how far this business idea can take us! We now have a range of packaged products in around 10 shops in the County, and will be launching our Internet order service next month. We have a late night opening and all day Saturday opening online for next month also - the late night opening will have wine, cheese and product tasting so lots of change!!

We currently have a wonderful new temp butcher in at the moment as our usual butcher is sunning himself in Tunisia - we heard he refused to ride a camel so will be booking him in for camel lessons on his return... Luckily, the new butcher is also called Alan - maybe in Northumberland all butchers are called Alan??? He was brought up in the village but moved out to Australia and has just returned - his energy and ability has dazzled us all - not to mention cutting quite a dashing figure in the shop! I think having a romeo serving lamb chops could be very good for business!! We don't want to let him go in a week.... and we may try not to.... watch this space!!

The herbs are still alive somehow... god knows how!! I keep spraying them with organic miracle grow and turning them brown, then having to spend hours washing them, but boy do they grow!! Next step... fruit and veg.... oh god.

The train journeys haven't improved - but I have admitted defeat and swapped my small, elegant suitcase for a big one I can hurl piles of stuff into - women are not meant to own small suitcases its wrong! Yes it may stack neatly on the luggage rack above my head on the train, but it fits exactly 1 pair of knickers and half a bottle of shampoo in and the rest ends up stuffed into bags I leave on trains and drop constantly!!! Why is it that the zip fastens on the journey out but coming back it wont go near??? It cant be all the handbags and shoes I purchase surely... well anyway, now I carry around a small house - perfect for shoes, handbags, hair dryer and kitchen sinks... and perfect for smacking commuters and tourists in the legs with outside Kings Cross....

We now have an actual bedroom and an actual bed!!! I can't quite believe I'm lying on a real mattress in a real room designed for sleeping purpose!! We have a posh new floor and paint on the walls - now just need curtains... something my husband could do with remembering... last week as the night drew in I went into the dusk to pick some herbs from our midge infested front garden and take in the evening air.... there I met a guest from our holiday cottage enjoying the night and the view.... mainly the view of my husband hopping around the bedroom in his underpants trying to remove his socks.... not even my phenomenal distraction techniques could divert them away from that one....

A thought consumes me at the moment.... can you put popping candy in a sausage??? Would it work??? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.....

The shop is doing well at the moment, despite my mother and I bashing around with the till like we know what we are doing.... weight...non-weigh...susan....cheque.... pardon????? erm... well Ive found if I randomly button press and look worried Alan comes to my rescue so I will keep this up for the immediate future! Having said that my mother is excelling herself in the shop at the moment - cutting a dash in blue hair net and white apron she can now frequently be seen in the shop holding the fort for me, she really is irreplaceable!

I'm looking forward to being there more often and being on call, although I have a feeling the staff will not relish the chance to have me around more...

Right, must be off and do some work... over and out,

Cx

Sausage Launch!

Well another few weeks have passed, I'm blog slacking!!! It has been a serious whirlwind of a fortnight, and I'm very pleased and proud to say we are now supplying several village shops, petrol stations and one very large farm shop with our sausages and black pudding!! Our packaging was a nightmare and is still problematic - serves me right for not wanting plastic coated poly trays really! Cardboard is not a great friend of sausage, it tends to want to mush, or leak or do anything other than behave really!!! Up until the night before our supply date, we had film windows full of mist, until my wonderful butcher discovered that putting a moisture removing pad inside the box sorts this!!! And then the labeling, god what a challenge! Who knew it could be so difficult!!

The new burgers are also now in the shop, we have melting middle lamb and beef burgers and new recipe beef burgers which are a good improvement on the previous ones. However, at one point last week, we had Mozzarella spelt 4 different ways in the shop!!! We have also entered into a deal with the cinema in town to advertise in their catalogue, giving us 2 free cinema tickets per week to be won in the shop - it means that once a week, we will advertise a film and time (mainly a Thursday night) and anyone spending over £10 in the shop can enter their name and number into a box to try to win the tickets - we will then pick a name out of the box and they pick their tickets up!

We also have lots of new things going on in the shop - new delicious biscuits, cakes and bread, freshly brewed coffee and salads which are going down a treat! Look out for sausage and bacon rolls in the mornings soon and more local produce, oh and homemade pease pudding, potted meats and soup!!! Phew, as you can imagine, our staff are a little shell shocked by all this change - but coping amazingly well with it all. We have turned sausage making Tuesdays into the day from hell - by Tuesday evening the back of the shop is one large sausage factory, the staff look like they've been to war and there are so many sausages hanging in the cold room we could give Walls a run for their money!!!

I often sit and think about the changes that have happened to me since April, its really quite amazing that 3 months ago I was just a scientist from London and now I'm running around the Northumberland hills flogging sausages to shops and getting excited over coffee and jam!!! I am really enjoying the challenge and have so much more lined up over the next few months, including a shop re-vamp (paint and re-organising furniture to start with).....

Also, look out for our exciting new veg boxes and beautiful range of children and baby meals developed by a local. These will be so new and exciting, we will have every baby and child in Northumbelrand wanting their mum to take them to Wark!!!

Next big thing coming up is our lamb from Roses Bower, the clock is ticking for those bouncy lambs currently enjoying the grass on the farm - this year we hope to get as many as possible into the shop rather than selling at mart.

On a different subject, I came first class to London this week - what a nice journey!! Virgin staff feed and water you and there is space to put things down without pelting an unsuspecting business man with my womanly wares!!! I had lemonade and did some work, I even had a snooze - quite obviously, I am going to need to find a sponsor who will allow me to come first class to London in future in exchange for sausages.... any offers??

Looking forward to the BBQ on the 10th Aug, I will of course be bringing our products to the party, I will work on some crazy recipes to get everyone talking!!

This week we have the seriously popular Stilton and asparagus sausage back on the market - but we have a relief butcher in for the next 2 weeks who is luckily also called Alan (this helps with my terrible name memory recall) who has some amazing recipes up his butchers apron. I am hoping we can do some crazy sausage trials this week and emerge with some flavours to tempt even the fussiest mouths!!

Right, must go in search of lunch, over and out,
Cx

It's my birthday!

Well here I am.... 29.... again :-) I count backwards after 30 right? That is until I hit 18 and then I'll count forwards again... I wouldn't want my husband to be sent to jail for indecency.....

Another crazy week at the Bower, but really rather lovely weather to ease the pain! Not sure about the midges though.... why did midges get invented? What possible purpose could a bunch of blood sucking, itch inducing little critters have on the planet.... having said that, I bet they wander round asking each other what the purpose of humans are and I think they probably have a point... watering my herbs and new tomato plants in the midge cloud is not a great task, they seem to think I taste rather amazing and I look like a child with German measles!!!

I delivered the first 2 London orders this week, still lovely and chilled in their boxes and complete with free herb gift! I'm very excited about expanding our client base, sending Northumbrian meat down to London will get our wonderful product on the market and let people see what Northumberland can do! Shopping local is a great tool, but often in built up cities its hard to find good quality produce at decent prices - I'm also saving on carbon footprint by delivering it on my way to work - although if I get more orders I may have to rethink that!!!

Chocolate and chilli sausages make a come back this week in the shop! Get them fast as I already have 3lbs reserved for London!!! We will be pitching to several shops on Thursday with the sausages, bacon and herbs, keep your fingers crossed for us!!!

I am having terrible trouble with the bread at the moment, the baker is struggling to deliver it early and the villagers are stringing me up by my Bridget Jones pants!!! I keep hoping it will sort itself out but I'm not sure how! Last week, I was all ready to scream and shout at the delivery man until I saw the pure panic in his face and then I realised that this wasn't his idea of fun either!! Short from becoming a baker myself I am going to have to get resourceful with this one, please bare with me whilst I kick my grey matter into action!!

I have managed to accumulate 2 birthday cakes today and one yesterday - that's a lot of lovely cake!!! Hopefully, the office will help me consume it later today as I feel if I eat it all myself I will not be fitting into the train seat on my return journey!

Time is running out in London for me now, only 3 weeks left!!! Then I become a full time shop owner/farmers wife... god help Northumberland!

I am determined to party tonight, and fight the urge to turn in as my 31 year old body is instructing... of course I will drink orange juice and behave sensibly.... oh there's that pig again, I wonder if he's had any luck sourcing those stickers....

Adios,
cx

long lost blog

Goodness me a whole week since my last post, how did that happen! Well I'm not sure where the weeks are going, but I do reckon we have a week thief, that is pinching time from under our noses, why do we need to sleep? I mean, don't get me wrong, sleeping is better than a large chocolate bar (well actually maybe not) but it is very good, but not having to sleep would give me another 7-8 hours up and I could move mountains then.... actually, I'd probably just get hysterically grumpy and take it out on my husband so perhaps its better I sleep after all.

I cannot believe how hot it is in London this week - we came down on Friday night, set off at 9pm after a lovely haggis dinner made by Dad and drove down the M1 playing dirty dancing and singing at the top of our voice - by the time we hit Luton I had no voice, melted chocolate all over the car and a coffee/lucozade buzz to rival any illegal high (not that I'd know obviously!). I spent ten minutes shouting "Sylvia.... yes mickey... how do you call your lover boy" out of the window, I imagine any passer by would have considered me clinically insane.... they would probably be correct in fairness....

Speaking of insane... last week was terrible! I stayed in the usual hostel, and was just getting used to telling everyone what a find it was, when I went to bed after a few glasses of wine on the Monday night, and heard a lady crying in the room next door. I didn't think too much of it, I'm not terribly sympathetic so I left her.... then at midnight she started wailing, and at 1am she started smashing things.... I actually thought I was going to die! I also convinced myself she was on the corridor, preventing me from making my escape, so I waited for her to stop, she didn't. She eventually went quiet at 4am.... I slept for 2 hours.... she started again, this time the noise was much louder and she was smashing lots of something... I was glued to the bed and so desperate for the toilet I thought I may have to go in my Evian bottle.... at 7am my mother called.... thank god for mothers.... I told her my plan, to break off the bars on the window with my feet and escape over the TV lounge roof into the garden.... she told me to put down the phone and call security.... erm, yes that's quite a good idea!!! So 7 hours of terror to be ended in a 2 second conversation to security, who came straight up and knocked on my door - slowly I peaked my head around the door as the noise was still horrendous... no sign.... then security tell me its coming from her room, like it had been doing ALL night.... for the love of god you mean I could have made my escape????? He knocked on her door, and a tiny very pretty girl came to the door, told him she was fine, he shouted at her and she legged it, off down the street in her PJ's... needless to say I didn't follow, I glanced into her room, full of glass, broken wardrobes and then collapsed into bed again! The following night she hoovered... the whole night, but I guess this is preferable to screaming.... this week, I have taken refuge at my mother in law's house!!!

This weekend was an education, my sister in-law's father in-law (there must be a better way of saying that!) broke his ankle badly over the weekend and they had to go to hospital to sort things out, as it was a school night, her 4 children needed baths and bed... oh my god. So I poured a bath, and got one child in at a time with military precision, followed by hair drying, PJ's, drinks and bed.... you believe me right???.... ok ok ok.... 3 hours of persuading 3 children to get into the bath, getting wetter than them, burning their heads with the hairdryer, trying to play DVDs and putting them back into bed 100 times, whilst simultaneously dodging projectile vomit from the eldest with heat stroke... but in fairness I didn't wretch, a first for me! I have a feeling that children and one of those things that will not be one of my listed strengths....

This week I'm travelling in from Luton each morning, I was very excited this morning, first that I managed to find the station without sat nav (I usually can't find the car without sat nav) and also that I could pay my car parking fee by phone... until they told me the price... £17 for 3 days... and £67 for 3 return tickets to London, I have come to the conclusion that Luton dwellers must all be millionaires, particularly the first capital connect staff whom I feel I should marry as when the credit crunch brings us all to our knees (like that man at the conference tells us), I will be attached to the richest man in the world and those Luton residents will keep me in handbags for years to come....

On the work side, we have some very exciting possibilities building up, that need a lot more time spent on them than I have available at the moment, roll on next month when I can concentrate on this part of my life full time! I also have rolled out the London delivery so if you see a crazy red head heaving 7 legs of lamb on to the Newcastle to London train on a Monday morning you will nod your head knowingly.... I have no idea what I will do it the orders get too much to carry, probably drive the car down and provide myself with a chance to sing dirty dancing tracks for another 4 hours....

Today, I quite genuinely think I am melting, I have the fan on me full blast but the warm air it is spitting at me is pathetic to be frank - I need pims, a garden and a swimming pool, its just not fair to sit in a hot office with my complexion!

I hope you are all well, over and out,

Cx

Match sticks anyone??

Our new bags!

Oh dear, I genuinely think I have pushed it this week, my eyelids are heavier than my left and right thigh put together and I require so much coffee to stay upright I am considering investing in a share of Starbucks! I am also going on a crusade to sue the Caledonian sleeper for its trade description title!

I had a great time on Thursday, my boss did a wonderful talk, the music worked amazingly, the party was a great amount of fun and I managed to avoid disgracing myself... my work colleague however did not, there's always one....

I decided following the party to go on to another bar... then someone mentioned that it may be better to head to the station.... then I looked at my watch.... OH MY GOD! 20 minutes to retrieve my suitcase from the office, get a taxi and get to the station, and all this under the influence of some extremely cheeky red wine.... hmmmm. Well, I got the suitcase, luckily with the help of my 2 guardian angels Anna and Dave, then we took 10 minutes to find a taxi and it took a further 7 minutes to get to the station.... 1 minute to the train leaving I get to the station.... the last train for 7 hours.... OMG!!! Needless to say, by the time I made it to the platform I thought I may need to ask for an ambulance rather than where my seat was! Somehow, I made it on to the train and then it left.... I was 8 carriages away from my seat.... for the love of god!!!

Someone should tell this Caledonian sleeper designer that women more than a size 8 with a suitcase need slightly more than a 6 inch wide corridor to get down!! For a few moments I considered doing a action packed adventure stunt and scaling the train to walk on the roof... then I decided that messing up my hair was too unbearable and settled for the corridor, closely followed by a man in a suit, who told me 3 times I was walking the wrong way, then asked me to join him in his cabin (erm ok, alongside the other 3 men in their PJ's!!!).... not sure what it was about my drunken, sweating, panic stricken self that he found remotely attractive really, that will remain one of life's little mysteries!!

Anyway, 8 tiny corridors, 11 bashed doors and a gallon of perspiration later.... I found my seat!!!!... and a woman was in it fast asleep. I briefly considered sitting on her head, then sat the the chair next to her, luckily no-one sat there so sleeping woman lived to see another day.

So Caledonian sweater, panic inducer, uncomfortable ride, absolutely but Caledonian sleeper??? Don't make me laugh!!! After 5 hours of facebook, I nodded off... narrowly made the Carlisle stop and landed on a heap on the station floor - what a glamorous life I lead!!

On a better note, the new pig stickers and cotton bags were delivered, and now I can't wait to get packing sausages! I can be seen this week, walking around the streets of London with our new Wark Village Butchers bag under my arm, there's nothing like publicity!!! We have gone with the slogan "British Farming Matters!" which has stuck since my interview with the panel, it seems to sum up what we are trying to do and add a personal touch to the merchandise. Alan has also excelled himself this week with beef and mustard sausages and white pudding, this week is pork and chestnut, because a chestnut is for life not just for Christmas!!! Having said that, tell that to my poor mother who has trawled the length of Northumberland today in search of the dam things!!! She finally tracked them down luckily, or else it would have been chestnutless pork...

To add to my harassment this weekend, I have had the joys of a food hygiene course and my VAT returns.... "tax needn't be taxing".... say that in front of me and seriously regret it! Why do receipts look so innocent in your purse, Then morph into the devil in paper form once in the file from hell? And as for our lap top, I could genuinely have done it quicker if I'd used an old fashioned type writer!

I have learnt several valuable lessons this week... don't be late for trains, don't listen to suited men on such trains, do wash your hands constantly when around food (oh and don't pick your nose) and under no circumstances attempt to do your tax returns after a week of wine and jolliness.. Moira Stuart may tell you that it isn't taxing, but she is having you on!!!!!

Over and out,
Cx

Come on the losers!

Hello again, well I haven't been deleted, or told off so chances are I can keep blogging, so great news for me anyway!!!

So the winner is..... not me!! Hey ho, second placed losers have more fight, I will rise from the ashes.... and hope it didn't burn my sausages!!! Seriously, well done Emily! If I owned a farm shop Id be getting your lovely animals into the shop pronto, but as its a butchers I don't think it would be your required market - give me time, I'm a slow burner! The other winners look good too - although I see Amy's face in the runners up section - not good! Take comfort Amy, you are the best in my eyes bar none.

Well, Ive survived 3 nights in London this week, and in the same hostel I stayed in last week, and it wasn't half bad! I even made it home safe after a night out with Anna on Tuesday, although I did detour half way home to have coffee with a homeless guy and his ginger cat..... Bob the cat can be seen in Covent Garden wearing a scarf and sitting on the shoulder of perhaps the most interesting person I have ever met! London is an incredible place.

Yesterday was spent perfecting a presentation my boss will be delivering today... I never thought of myself as an IT idiot until yesterday... 2 hours on getting a piece of music to play through the duration of 40 slides.... like finding hens teeth!!! I just about jumped out of our 2nd floor window (then realised that at my size Id probably only bruise my bum and squash a passer by) then found my saviour... PowerPoint help.... marry me!! I learnt an important lesson yesterday... the art of delegation is key to academia.... and you must NEVER pretend to your boss that you have knowledge when you don't, it is ALWAYS going to be a disaster....

So I have been considering if I should advertise my loser status at the butchers... welcome to wark village butchers... where losers are always welcome... ??? Maybe I'll just go very quiet about it and hope no-one asks. Ive also got a master plan I will be perfecting next week.... coffee!! I am going to get serving coffee soon in the shop so if you see a crazy woman running up and down the street with cups stop and have a free cup!!! I actually think the village consider me crazy...

Its very warm here today, I keep having hot flushes and having to sit in front of the fan.... something that shouldn't be necessary at 30!! I may retreat to the lab soon for some air conditioning... er I mean hard work of course!!!

if this was a time responsive blog, you would have noticed a huge gap there! Ive just sneaked into my bosses office to take a call from the lovely Suzy from food local food - how exciting! We hope to source all local stock with their help and also become one of their suppliers - a scary task but so so so so exciting!! During our conversation Suzy fell off her chair, and still managed to keep talking to me... professionalism at its best. So a huge thank you to Steven for letting me know about the work of food local food, this could be the start of a beautiful relationship!

Talking of relationships.... I haven't seen nor heard from my husband in a week.... one could call that bliss but I fear we are in danger of forgetting what each other looks like.... we will walk clean past each other in the street I'm sure! Sometimes, I think he wonders what he married into...

I failed on pig stickers, and I need them! Had to make do with a picture of a pig on a sticker - cute but not the same!!! I need a pigs bum shape or a pig side on - yes I know I'm a lunatic but I NEEEEEED it! Its like handbags really.....

Tonight will be a posh dinner, I will drink orange juice so as to remain an academic professional and I will engage in knowledgeable conversation about science..... oh my god look!!!! a pig just flew past the window.... I wonder if he sells stickers????

Cx

Are we allowed to keep blogging???

Well, truth be told I'm a little addicted to this blog stuff now, seems a shame to stop! Maybe I'll just keep blogging to no-one and keep myself amused....

I'm having a bit of an emotional crisis week, those weeks when being anything other than a millionaire size 6 with 38DD chest and legs up to your armpits will simply spell the end of the world? You know the one. Not to mention the fact that work has reactivated all the security doors and I am smashing into them like a bird hitting a wall mid flight.... how can I play a serious business woman when I am sliding down doors with concussion???

I am in London until Thursday this week and already the panic is setting in - I have samples to make for shops and contacts to....contact I guess! I want to be there, annoying the staff and sorting things out!! I've also realised that our new mobile chilling cabinet is going to need me to sell my body on the streets of Newcastle for several years to pay for.... and even that wouldn't be enough going on the credit crunch finances of things today! Why are they so expensive?? I want to chill my meat at farmers markets not sell cavia at the BAFTAs.... but that may be an interesting business idea....

I am looking for pig stickers at the moment, it may sound crazy but it is the only thing that will complete my packaging triumph, it HAS to be a pig sticker!!! Trouble is, there isn't much demand for pig stickers!!!

I've also been told our new uniform is "in a queue" for embroidery.... whats that about!!! Does it stand in line and wait its turn.... are there that many people wanting stitched things on their clothes!!

On a different note, we have found a possible supplier of goats for our new venture, which means babies babies babies galore on Roses Bower (not mine though!!). I will have to invest in some "goat management" books and pray that after all this, the meat is as good as I have told everyone it will be!!!

Speak soon
Cx